I always liked the story of the 5 loaves and 2 fish. I'm sure you know the one I am talking about, where Jesus fed the 5000 out of what little food could be found? (If you don't, you can read it here.)
When I was younger, having read the story a million times, I was always intrigued by this portion of the gospels. I mean first off, who decides to follow someone along the road, into a remote place, in a massive hoard, and doesn't take lunch with them?? I know I forget to eat meals sometimes (don't judge, life gets busy), but I don't think I've ever gone on a long trip and forgot food for the journey. Secondly, I knew that I was amazed at how Jesus provided, but my very logical (yet, still a child-like) brain couldn't fathom how 5+2 = 5000+ meals. But isn't that the beauty of a miracle? It DOESN'T make logical sense, yet it is as true and pure as the Son himself.
However, as I've gotten older I've also begun to view this passage with a new light. As I transition into missions I understand the hoards to people far better than I ever imagined I would. Dropping all they have, all their work, all their possessions, and, dare I say, all their food to follow and meet with Jesus. Jesus was trying to retreat to quiet place, but he continued sailing forward and when they saw Him moving, so did they. I want to be like them.
Just as Jesus describes the multitudes, the seasons of waiting often feel as if I myself am lost and without a shepherd (oh how glad I am to know this isn't true though!)... but I want to be a person who always sees where the Lord is leading and runs forward to meet Him along the shore.
I want to always believe that He will provide and take compassion upon me, just as He did them, when He steps onto the banks of whatever situation is before me.
I want to follow along a path that allows Jesus to "begin teaching [me] many things."
Like the multitudes being fed, I want to see miracles that logic and understanding cannot define, that my own eyes cannot comprehend, but walk away knowing the truth and seeing leftover blessings expound even farther.
In His own way, God has already begun to provided the fish and loaves over this journey to Ecuador. In the midst of my stress, with overwhelming amounts of information to remember, funds to raise, and partnerships to build God is still faithful to remind me of His provision.
This past Sunday, before I left Springfield (more to come about PFO and all the fun stuff I learned in my upcoming newsletter!), I had the opportunity to preach at a small church I had attended for 6-7 months before I left college. I had gone to visit and lovingly dragged a couple friends along with me. The 4 or 5 of us who would come each week made up a quarter of the church and within 2 weeks of being there, we were their worship team, running the sound booth, changing the church sign each week, and somehow I ended up running children's church. (God help that little girl because kid's ministry is not my area of calling, but she stuck it out with me and always smiled at my lame crafts).
I can't say any of those tasks were, or are, my forte- but we were there to serve. So of course, when I decided to head to the mission field, I called up the Pastor to say hi and let him know.
Before I even scheduled/accepted the service, the Pastor had already told me "Rachel, we don't have any money for a monthly pledge. We can barely pay our current missionaries."
Honestly, I already knew/remembered this, but I said their prayer was just as valuable to me and I was already going to be in town and would love to come by anyways. On Sunday, including myself, there were 12 people in the service. Unexpectedly to me, Pastor decided to take an offering at the end of service. He told me to wait in the small, old sanctuary as we went to count the money, apologizing that He was sure it wouldn't be much.
After about 10 minutes, he came back with tears in His eyes. "This is the largest offering we have had in years. It is all from the people, none of it came out of the Church's account. I think God wanted us to bless you as a thank you for showing up right when I needed your help a couple years ago and thought I was going to have to give up being a pastor." It was late in the afternoon and his very fragile wife needed to go home. He handed me small folded check, gave me a hug, and sent me out the door so he could lock up the sanctuary.
I waited until I was outside, had packed up my car, and was out of the parking lot before unfolding the little check. I stared at it in disbelief for a second; those 11 people had given me $408 (plus a $10 Burger King gift card from an older lady who said she didn't have any money but wanted to make sure I had lunch)!! FOUR HUNDRED AND EIGHT!!! See, that's GOD.
It was more than I ever imagined. More than I would bet has come into the offering for the past several weeks, possibly months, combined. As I looked at the check again, I found myself remembering the 5000. How they probably looked at the baskets of fish and bread, at the excess, and were astounded too. How they, and I, can always use a reminder that in His timing, the Lord ALWAYS Provides...even when our mindset is that of disbelief.
So no, there is not 5000 of me needing fed, but there is 1 and I am hungry. Hungry for a life filled with water that never runs dry and the bread of life that will always satisfy! Here I am, being reminded once again that His provision is enough and his blessings never cease.
Until Next Time,
Rachel